Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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