Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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