just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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