My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize