So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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