***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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