it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize