She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize