i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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