Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize