Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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