my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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