DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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