So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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