I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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