If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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