Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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