I have demons in me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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