Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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