yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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