school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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