i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize