You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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