I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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