Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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