If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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