i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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