I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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the room spins SO much faster in panama
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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