I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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