So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
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I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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