well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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