At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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