I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize