My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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