If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She is in my trunk
It's like God shit irony all over that family
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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