I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize