You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize