ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
jump out the window naked night went bad
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