i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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