I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize