so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize