I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
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Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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