Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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