i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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