I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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