god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize