I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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