He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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