So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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