If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize